2016 Previews: NFC West

The NFC West has been one of the best divisions in pro football these last few years. In 2013, Arizona finished third in the division with a 10-6 record, and the division as a whole went 44-22. There’s not so much depth now, but there are still two potential Super Bowl contenders here.

Arizona Cardinals

2015 record: 13-3, right up there with Carolina in how they were playing…until Carolina took them apart in the NFC Championship, anyway.

What’s To Love? So, so much about this team. Safety/corner hybrid Tyrann Mathieu could’ve been a good shout for Defensive Player of the Year had he stayed healthy. Either way, he’s a groundbreaking player who’s establishing a new position, a new way to play in the secondary and a whole new way to think about the secondary, and coverage in general. Arizona have five wide receivers who’d be starters on some other teams. They had a fantastic defense even before trading for Chandler Jones, who was one of the best in the league last year. Bruce Arians has a fantastic record as a head coach, David Johnson is right up there with Todd Gurley in the best running backs to come through the draft in the last couple of years…I could go on.

What’s Not To Love? There’s just a bit of an “and yet…” with the Cardinals. They were fairly poor in beating Green Bay in the playoffs before losing to Carolina, quarterback Carson Palmer in particular having a big dip in quality. Mathieu is a revelation but has had so many serious injuries at such an early point in his career, how can you rely on him? They have Patrick Peterson at cornerback who is a stud, but beyond him,it’s rookies and unproven special teamers. And outside of Jones and 3-4 end Calais Campbell, the front seven is only “fairly good”. So there are a few things, and if Arizona don’t win the Super Bowl this season, these may well be reasons.

What’ll 2016 Be Like Then? That’s the key, isn’t it? “If Arizona don’t win the Super Bowl”. Arizona might well have the best roster of all the Super Bowl contenders, and deserve to be talked about as having a good chance. Their undoing may end up being stuck in the same division as the near-equally excellent Seahawks. Both are contenders, but whoever has the worse record will have the tougher task to get to the Super Bowl. That said, I think Arizona will go 13-3 and that could give them the #1 seed in the NFC they may need to get there.

Seattle Seahawks

2015 record: 10-6, despite starting 2-4. At no point, then, did Seattle look like a 10-6 team. They started up looking like a 6-10 team, and finished up looking like a 14-2 one.

What’s To Love? So, so much about this team. Russell Wilson might be irritating as a person but he became one of the top few quarterbacks in the NFL last year. Doug Baldwin started looking like a #1 receiver, and Tyler Lockett might be the best one from last year’s draft. Thomas Rawls emerged as a star running back. And that’s not even mentioning the defense! Michael Bennett, Earl Thomas, Richard Sherman, Cliff Avril, Kam Chancellor. Just generally be afraid; be very afraid.

What’s Not To Love? If ever a team was built to cope with a shoddy offensive line, it’s Seattle, with a mobile quarterback and running backs adept at making the best of a bad situation. But make no mistake, Seattle’s line is bad. It says a lot when they lose a semi-liability like J.R. Sweezy in free agency, and somehow get worse. I’m not sure there’s a single starting-calibre player on this line, and way too much is hoped for from first-round draft pick Germain Ifedi.

What’ll 2016 Be Like Then? Well, Seattle will probably continue to bait ProFootballFocus by winning lots of games with an awful offensive line. It may cost them a game or two, and it’ll be a bit of a disaster if it leads to Russell Wilson getting injured, but so far so good. The offense is improving to come close to the defense, but it’ll never match it, and Bennett, Thomas and co will continue to get sacks, interceptions, fumbles and every good defensive stat. I think Seattle to match Arizona with 13-3.

St Louis Los Angeles Rams

2015 record: 7-9. Jeff Fisher coached a team to a 7-9 record. I know, I know.

What’s To Love? Aaron Donald and Todd Gurley, basically. Donald is the best defensive lineman not named JJ Watt, is quicker off the mark than pretty much anyone in the trenches on either side of the ball in the NFL. He will get sacks, pressures, you name it. He’s the main reason teams don’t score many points against the Rams. Conversely, Todd Gurley is probably the only reason the Rams will score points this season. A generational talent at running back, he can create something from nothing, can turn 5 yard gains into 30 yard gains, is decent in the passing game too. The only thing is he doesn’t have much of an offensive line to work with.

What’s Not To Love? This is a singularly unloveable franchise outside of those too. They gave up every draft pick ever basically to get Jared Goff, who is now reported to look like the sum of his flaws, not his talents. He doesn’t have any good wide receivers or tight ends to pass to, even if he does play. The defense looks a notch weaker, as the secondary will feel the loss of Janoris Jenkins, you suspect. This is a team out of time that only looks to have what it takes to compete in the NFL on one side of the ball.

What’ll 2016 Be Like Then? You may have seen the clip from Hard Knocks of Jeff Fisher profanely promising to not go 7-9 again. The good news is, the Rams won’t go 7-9! The bad news is, their first season in Los Angeles will be worse than that. I reckon 5-11 is a fair number to predict, with four wins being down to the defense and one to Todd Gurley. This team has been assembled poorly, and coached worse than that.

San Francisco 49ers

2015 record: 5-11, which was considered to be better than expected. That’s how bad things are in San Francisco.

What’s To Love? Er, DeForest Buckner and Arik Armstead might make some nicely terrifying 3-4 defensive end bookends? Wait, do the 49ers even play 3-4 defense?

What’s Not To Love? This just makes me so sad. Jim Harbaugh might have been a bigger arsehole than the size of the universe in No Man’s Sky (tortured metaphor klaxon sounds), but this team has just been torn apart since midway through that 2014 season. They have a worse situation at quarterback than anyone else – Gabbert and Kaepernick should not be starting in the 2016 NFL. Their only good wide receiver can draw pass interference flags and do little else. The 49ers still haven’t recovered from most of their defense retiring, and with Navarro Bowman not looking back to his old self last season, there’s still some way to go. I honestly cannot find a silver lining for this team. At least Cleveland seem to have a rebuilding plan in place.

What’ll 2016 Be Like Then? If Cleveland don’t ‘win’ the first overall pick next year, don’t be surprised if San Francisco do. I look at this roster and I just can’t see how they’re going to win any games. There is just no talent here. Unless Chip Kelly somehow morphs into a good NFL coach (unlike, say, what he was in Philadelphia last year), the 49ers will be lucky to go 3-13.

Draft Tipper: NFC and AFC West

The West divisions had the Super Bowl winners, arguably the best team not to make the Super Bowl last year, and two other teams that won a playoff game. They also, thanks to a somewhat lopsided trade, have the team picking first overall.

NFC West

Arizona Cardinals

They pick: 29th overall
They need: 3-4 Defensive End, Center, Offensive Tackle, 3-4 Inside Linebacker

Who might they go for in the first round? Robert Nkemdiche would be a very Arizona pick here, and Jarran Reed may still be on the board at defensive end. At center, Ryan Kelly may be available, as may an offensive tackle like Taylor Decker and Germain Ifedi. This may not be the perfect spot for a linebacker either. Don’t be surprised if Arizona take a best player available here, as they have a fairly well-stacked roster at the moment.

In the second round? Austin Johnson, Jonathan Bullard, Adolphus Washington and Jihad Ward are possible options at defensive end, and Nick Martin is an option at center. Arizona need a right tackle, so Le’Raven Clark and Shon Coleman are possible options. At linebacker, Scooby Wright, Su’a Cravens and Beniquez Brown are options, and this is another team that could get the idea to draft Jaylon Smith while he recovers from injury.

Los Angeles Rams

They pick: 1st overall (no 2nd round pick)
They need: Quarterback, Wide Receiver, Tight End, Center

Who might they go for in the first round? They’re going to be picking either Carson Wentz or Jared Goff. Why else would you give up two first-round picks, two second-round picks and two third-round picks? It is lucky that the three biggest positions of need for LA are either traditional mid-or-late-round targets (tight end and center) or a position well-known for producing late-round gems (wide receiver).

San Francisco 49ers

They pick: 7th overall
They need: Quarterback, Wide Receiver, 3-4 Outside Linebacker, 3-4 Inside Linebacker

Who might they go for in the first round? In truth San Francisco have way more needs than that, but let’s keep it simple. We can be fairly certain now that Carson Wentz and Jared Goff will go in the first two overall picks, so the only possible quarterback for San Francisco is Paxton Lynch. There aren’t any highly-rated wide receivers you’d pick here. If Joey Bosa slips to this pick, he’d be a good pick here, as would Myles Jack. Really though, San Francisco could pick almost any position and it wouldn’t be a bad pick, so wide-ranging are their needs.

In the second round? Connor Cook may still be on the board at quarterback here. There should be plenty of wide receivers too – a slot weapon or generic big target would be the logical pick, so Corey Coleman, Michael Thomas and Tyler Boyd would all make sense. A pass-rushing linebacker like Kamalei Correa or Yannick Ngakoue would be a decent option, as may Noah Spence and Shilique Calhoun. At inside linebacker, look at Scooby Wright and Beniquez Brown.

Seattle Seahawks

They pick: 26th overall
They need: Offensive Tackle, Offensive Guard, Center, 4-3 Linebacker

Who might they go for in the first round? This is a pointless exercise with Seattle even moreso than other teams. Seattle go their own way, do weird things that baffle everyone, and they generally work out. So I can say “Seattle need to stop dicking around and sort out their offensive line” and they will devote all their picks to defense and flick V’s at me while they’re at it. Nonetheless, if they want to sort out their O-Line, then Taylor Decker, Germain Ifedi, Jason Spriggs, Cody Whitehair and Ryan Kelly slot in at various points along the line. I refuse to consider a linebacker because SORT THAT GOD DAMN OFFENSIVE LINE OUT GUYS SERIOUSLY.

In the second round? Plenty of ‘projects’ here. Le’Raven Clark and Shon Coleman are good bets at tackle. Joshua Garnett and Vadal Alexander are options at guard. Nick Martin would fill the hole at center left when Max Unger was traded. This is decent range for a 4-3 linebacker, however, so Deion Jones, Kyler Fackrell and even Scooby Wright are options here.
AFC West

Denver Broncos

They pick: 31st overall
They need: Quarterback, Offensive Guard, 3-4 Defensive End, 3-4 Inside Linebacker

Who might they go for in the first round? It’s so weird that the Super Bowl winners need a quarterback, but here we are. Connor Cook is a prime candidate for a draft day slide and may well be available here if Denver want him. I’d say it’s a bit rich for Cody Whitehair at guard, though like Seattle, Denver have a strong need here. A tackle like Germain Ifedi may be a candidate to be converted to guard in the short term, at least. At defensive end, Robert Nkemdiche has potential but also non-specific ‘personality issues’ so may be available here. Austin Johnson, Jonathan Bullard and Chris Jones may be options, too. There isn’t really a linebacker in range here unless Reggie Ragland slides. It’s a bit of a quandary for Denver, all told.

In the second round? A quarterback ‘project’ like Cardale Jones, Dak Prescott or Christian Hackenberg is a possible pick here, though none of those are anywhere near ready to start immediately. At guard, Cody Whitehair and Joshua Garnett are options, as well as a tackle to be converted like Le’Raven Clark. At defensive end, Adolphus Washington, Jihad Ward and Bronson Kaufusi are options. At linebacker, look out for Beniquez Brown and Scooby Wright.

Kansas City Chiefs

They pick: 28th overall
They need: Wide receiver, 3-4 Defensive End, 3-4 Inside Linebacker, Safety

Who might they go for in the first round? There’ll likely be a wide receiver to put alongside Jeremy Maclin around, like Corey Coleman, Will Fuller or Michael Thomas. Big defensive ends like Chris Jones and Jonathan Bullard are options. At inside linebacker, they’ll have to hope Reggie Ragland slides if they want him. Kansas City will have their pick of safeties to replace Hussain Abdullah – Karl Joseph, Vonn Bell and Keanu Neal may all be on the board.

In the second round? Wide receivers at the back end of the second round may include Sterling Shepard and Pharoh Cooper, both of whom look like nifty slot receivers. I don’t think they’ll go for Braxton Miller, mind you. See the Denver entry for defensive ends (Washington, Ward, Kaufusi) and linebacker (Brown, Wright), though also keep an eye out for Jaylon Smith, but safeties like Su’a Cravens, TJ Green and Darian Thompson may be under consideration.

Oakland Raiders

They pick: 14th overall
They need: Defensive Tackle, Defensive End, Inside Linebacker, Safety

Who might they go for in the first round? Oakland have built well over the last few years, and aren’t so hamstrung by their needs as to have to pass up on better talents. There are a heck of a lot of good defensive tackles around though, so if Oakland want a Sheldon Rankins or A’Shawn Robinson, they should fill their boots. I’ve put defensive end as a need, so Shaq Lawson and Emmanuel Ogbah are in play, but if Bruce Irvin is going to play there full-time (as opposed to at linebacker) that’s less of a need. Linebacker remains a need though, so keep an eye out for Reggie Ragland. I wonder if Oakland might not pick somewhere that’s as much of a need in this first round though – keep an eye out for Ezekiel Elliott to go to Oakland if he’s still on the board.

In the second round? There are tons of defensive tackles, like Vernon Butler, Andrew Billings, Kenny Clark, Adolphus Washington, I could go on. Plenty of defensive ends, too: Noah Spence, Kevin Dodd, Shilique Calhoun, Carl Nassib. Linebackers? Again, Beniquez Brown and Scooby Wright are the realistic choices, though safety may end up being a better option if one of Keanu Neal, Vonn Bell or Karl Joseph is still on the board.

San Diego Chargers

They pick: 3rd overall
They need: Offensive tackle, 3-4 Defensive End, 3-4 Outside Linebacker, Safety

Who might they go for in the first round? The best player in the draft. If they think that’s Laremy Tunsil (tackle), Jalen Ramsey (safety), DeForest Buckner (end) or Joey Bosa (would probably play outside linebacker), all would fit. I think Tunsil and Ramsey are the most likely, but there’s no denying the two teams trading up for quarterbacks has worked out utterly perfectly for San Diego.

In the second round? As well as a tackle like Germain Ifedi or Jason Spriggs, 3-4 ends like Austin Johnson, Jonathan Bullard and co will be around, as will some pass-rushers like Kamalei Correa and Noah Spence. Most of the top safeties (Neal, Bell, Joseph) will still be available too. But, even though their record was terrible last year, I can see San Diego filling a position of slightly lesser need with one of the best players still available.

2015: Four Games To Go

Aka “Oo-er, it’s nearly playoff time”.

The Carolina Panthers became the first team to clinch a playoff spot this weekend past, beating New Orleans 41-38 to also win the NFC South and stay unbeaten on the season, with 12 wins and 0 losses. Behind them, it’s still uncertain, so let’s have a look at what we’ve got.

A Bit About Who Gets In The Playoffs

To start with, if you don’t know how the playoffs are decided, here’s who gets in:

• The winners of each ‘division’ (e.g. AFC South, NFC West etc)
• The two teams in each ‘conference’ (AFC, NFC) who have the best record (as in, who has won the most games and played against the teams who have, overall, won the most games too), but didn’t win their division.

The playoffs are split between AFC and NFC – if you’re in the NFC, you won’t play anyone in the AFC until the Super Bowl. Within each split, the six teams are seeded, and here’s how the seeding is decided:

• The winners of each division will be seeded 1 to 4, according to who has the best record for the season.
• The two other teams to qualify – known as ‘wildcards’, are seeded 5 and 6, with the team with the better record of the two being seeded 5.

So then you’ve got six teams, and you’ve got them seeded. In the first round of the playoffs, the 3rd seed will host the 6th seed, and the 4th seed will host the 5th seed. In the next round of playoffs, the 1st seed will host whichever of the two previous winners had the lowest seed, with the 2nd seed hosting the other team. The winners of those two play each other in the conference championship game, with the highest remaining seed hosting the game.

Then, of course, the two conference champions play each other in the Superb Owl. Sorry, Super Bowl. Super Bowl.

So, Who’s Getting There From the NFC This Year?

Well, let’s look at the NFC, because it’s probably the easiest to predict. As stated in the introduction, the Panthers (12-0) are there already, and they’ll be joined soon by the Arizona Cardinals (10-2), who have three wins more than anyone else in the NFC West and will probably win two games out of their last four at least to tie it up. In The NFC North, both the Green Bay Packers and the Minnesota Vikings have 8-4 records, but the Packers have a significantly easier schedule than the Vikings, so the smart money’s on them to win that division. The NFC East is just dreadful, though. Washington, the Philadelphia Eagles and the New York Giants all have 5-7 records, with the Dallas Cowboys just one win behind. Any of those teams could win it and secure a playoff spot, but I think I’d lean towards New York, because when they’ve played well, they’ve played better than any other team in the division. They’re just heroically inconsistent.

In terms of who gets the wildcard places in the NFC, the first will be whichever out of Green Bay and Minnesota doesn’t win the division, I’d expect. The other will probably be the Seattle Seahawks, who, if the season ended today, would get that spot. They’ve won more games and are playing better football than the next teams in line (Tampa Bay, Atlanta), so they seem a safe bet. My prediction for the seedings in the NFC are fairly straightforward too, though I fancy Seattle to win 3 or 4 of their remaining games and edge past Minnesota:

1. Carolina Panthers
2. Arizona Cardinals
3. Green Bay Packers
4. New York Giants
5. Seattle Seahawks
6. Minnesota Vikings

And What About the AFC?

The AFC’s a bit more interesting than the NFC, though three teams (New England Patriots, Cincinnati Bengals and Denver Broncos) are 10-2 and coasting towards the playoffs. In the AFC South, both Indianapolis Colts and Houston Texans are 6-6 but both have favourable schedules. It’s too close to call, but Indy have already beaten Houston in Houston, and still get to host them in a couple of weeks, so let’s say they’ll win it.

The wildcard places are more fun. Pittsburgh Steelers and Kansas City Chiefs are 7-5 and currently in position to get the places, but Pittsburgh have a couple of very difficult games in the next two weeks, whereas Kansas City’s on sizzling form, their schedule looks friendlier and I think they could easily win 3 or 4 of their last 4 games. The New York Jets are also 7-5, and have a mixed schedule to come, with the week 17 match in Buffalo probably being decisive, as Buffalo Bills aren’t out of it at 6-6, with three games against the NFC East and then the Jets game. So. I’m saying definitely Kansas City, but the last place is a complete guess. Pittsburgh have the recent history of getting to the playoffs, Buffalo have the easiest schedule but need to win more games, and the Jets do have this image of capitulating under pressure. Pittsburgh will probably get it but it seems a boring safe choice, whereas I think Buffalo could well win all four games and squeak it. So, for the actual predictions. Splitting the three teams mentioned first for seeding is tricky, let’s see how this works out:

1. New England Patriots
2. Cincinnati Bengals
3. Denver Broncos
4. Indianapolis Colts
5. Kansas City Chiefs
6. Buffalo Bills

2015 So Far: NFC and AFC West after Week 3

The last of our four looks at the NFL season so far looks at the teams in the NFC and AFC West.

So, starting with the NFC West, the Arizona Cardinals (3-0) are the most surprising of the 3-0 teams so far. Not just because they’re 3-0, but because of how emphatic those three wins have been. The defense has been a turnover-making machine, led by charismatic safety-corner-hybrid Tyrann “The Honey Badger” Mathieu. Carson Palmer is back from his ACL and tearing it up. Larry Fitzgerald is back from apparently the signs of aging and tearing it up like it’s 2008. The only note of caution is that they have beaten three pretty rubbish teams. But hey, look at how emphatically they’ve beaten them! All other teams in the West have losing records, starting with the Rams (1-2), who are pretty much identical to the Rams of the last two years, winning when they should lose, losing when they should win. To wit, they followed a shootout win over Seattle with two anaemic losses to pisspoor Washington, and to a Roethlisberger-less Pittsburgh with a terrible secondary. Todd Gurley’s being eased into action, and the defensive front is still brutal, but there’s little to be excited about. Still, it’s more than the 49ers (1-2), whose one in the win column is a miracle, have. That 20-3 win over the Vikings looks barely believable given blowout losses to the Steelers and Cardinals since. This team is as rubbish as advertised, except maybe worse given Kaepernick’s performance against Arizona, where his first two passes were returned for touchdowns by the opposition. Whoops. The Seahawks (1-2) are listed as last because of tie-breakers but will rise to be at least the second best team in this division, especially now Kam Chancellor’s back to solidify the secondary. Everything felt a bit anaemic those first two games, and though the offensive line still looks beyond woeful, the shutout victory over the Bears at least felt a bit like the old Seattle. It’ll be interesting to see how they progress, because as good as they look, they do look a bit diminished from the last two years.

Skipping over to the interminable AFC West, the Denver Broncos (3-0) continue to be very good, but holy wow is that defense incredible. They might have the best 1-2-3 cornerback combination in the league, and then there’s Von Miller, DeMarcus Ware, the other Brandon Marshall. They are such a pleasantly suffocating surprise. Peyton Manning looked best in week 3 with a more Peyton-flinging-the-ball type game, as we all drown in think pieces about his physical condition. Second are the Raiders (2-1), who- Wait a second. What. The Raiders are 2-1. A winning record? Oh, but look, Derek Carr has become gunsling-y and fun, Amari Cooper is the best rookie WR by a magnitude of about 40, and Khalil Mack is about four times as terrifying this year as he was last. And he was terrifying last. I don’t think Oakland have the depth to keep this up, but the NFL is cyclic and it’s nice to see perennially terrible teams get better to demonstrate this. Plus I have Latavius Murray in fantasy (sorry!) and didn’t want to pick him so I’m super-grateful he’s running well. The Chargers (1-2) yet again lack that comfort, as first-round pick Melvin Gordon has yet to find his groove. He might get there this season, but he’ll have to do some behind a weak offensive line that’s disrputed Philip Rivers’ rhythm something chronic. Rivers looked good throwing to Keenan Allen in Week 3, but the game was already lost, and the team missed Ladarius Green. The Chargers have been fun these last couple of years, but between that anaemic O and nondescript D, the same can’t be said this year. And the same can never be said for the Chiefs (1-2), who zzzzzZZZzzzZZzz. Just kidding. For every fun player, the Chiefs have about twelve who are not. Travis Kelce, Jamaal Charles, Justin Houston, Tamba Hali, and a boring roster. Alex Smith is playing like the worst kind of Alex Smith, just about reliable enough but nowhere near threatening enough, and now that he’s got his big new contract, Chiefs fans are starting to pine for someone a little more exciting.

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2015 Previews: NFC West

The NFC West has sent a team to the Super Bowl in each of the last three years. There’s a decent chance it does so again this year.

Seattle Seahawks

Last Year: 12-4 and oh, that Super Bowl loss. Oh.

Which Way Are They Going: They won’t post a worse regular season record, and could well end up in another Super Bowl, or at least an NFC Championship game.

What’s Good: The Seahawks have won a reputation as having the greatest defense in the NFL, and whether they do or not, it’s pretty amazing. What impresses most is that it’s pretty much at all eleven positions across the defense. The secondary has Richard Sherman, Earl Thomas and Kam Chancellor (if he ever stops holding out). All three are among the best. Don’t be surprised if Cary Williams is good this year too. At linebacker, KJ Wright and Bobby Wagner are very good, and Bruce Irvin is pretty damn impressive too. Michael Bennett and Cliff Avril rushing from the line are dangerous too every quarterback. It’s really rare to see this kind of team building, where every position can be filled.

What’s Possibly Good But Might Not Be: Russell Wilson’s passing stats. Wilson will always achieve more than his stats possess because firstly, people forget rushing stats, and secondly, he seems to have impeccable timing as to when in game he pulls out that high-pressure play. He might pass the ball for more yards this year, with Jimmy Graham there to catch anything thrown this way. This Saints fan says please Seattle cherish Jimmy. I miss you Jimmy. But yeah, Russell Wilson is Russell Wilson, so you know, he might only end up with 40 receptions or something. That’d be sad.

What’s Definitely Not Good: The offensive line, eeesh. Russell Wilson’s exactly the quarterback you’d want with a sub-par offensive line, but it’s still not exactly ideal. Their one quality starter, pro-bowl center Max Unger, is now on the Saints. Outside of him, Russell Okung at left tackle’s the only one you’d file as “half decent”. Excellent, bruising running back Marshawn Lynch is going to have to run over even more defenders this year if he’s going to rack up those yards.

Anything Else: BRING BACK THE GREEN UNIFORMS. Or at least, put some more green on them. Don’t be ashamed of that lurid, luminous green colour. Can see the Seahawks actually going up to 13-3 and posting the best overall record this year.

Arizona Cardinals

Last Year: 11-5

Which Way Are They Going: Down, despite the fact I think they’ll be a better team this year, they’ll end up with a worse regular season record.

What’s Good: There’s a lot to like about this team, but the coach is perhaps number 1. Bruce Arians simply hasn’t had a head coaching season that’s fallen below “excellent”. His interim spell in Indianapolis went for 9-3, and he’s gone 10-6 and 11-5 with Cardinals teams that on paper looked medicore. He revitalised Carson Palmer (before his ACL tear last year), and his team don’t always look to play very well, but they win.

What’s Possibly Good But Might Not Be: A lot of this team falls into this camp, but I’m going to focus on Andre Ellington. He looks about as weedy as running backs come, but he’s gained plenty of yards, and looked great in 2013 taking workload from Rashard Mendenhall. The Cardinals have drafted David Johnson, and I suspect they’ll share the workload. Hopefully, that should keep both of them a little fresher and make them more dangerous, rather than getting worn down like it seemed like Ellington was at times last year.

What’s Definitely Not Good: Something always looks a bit…skew-whiff about the Cardinals. I don’t know if it’s a swathe of underappreciated, under-reported players, but there’s not a great deal that stands out. I mean, Calais Campbell and Patrick Peterson on defense and Larry Fitzgerald are very-well known, and very very good. I’m not always convinced some of the other players exist. Just what exactly is an “Alex Okafor” or an “A.Q. Shipley”? And I don’t know what a “Frostee Rucker” is, but I bet it’s the best damn dessert on the menu.

Anything Else: That last section was mean and unnecessary, I’m sorry. The Cardinals have always just kind of passed me by when following the NFL. This is why I’m some know-nothing blogger and not, you know, someone making a living writing about the NFL. I think the Cardinals will go 9-7.

St Louis Rams

Last Year: 6-10

Which Way Are They Going: Up a bit.

What’s Good: The defense is solid, but the front of it is fantastic. Aaron Donald was Defensive Rookie of the Year for a reason, Robert Quinn is insanely terrifying, and Chris Long is still damn good. They signed Nick Fairley this season, just as he’s starting to grow into his ability. At some point, the Rams are going to have something like an eleven-man defensive front and just literally eat the opposing offense. Literally. There will be limbs chewed and swallowed everywhere. Oh no wait, I meant metaphorically. My mistake.

What’s Possibly Good But Might Not Be: Brian Quick, who was picked at the top of the second round a few years ago, had two anonymous seasons then started to break out last year, recording 322 yards and 3 touchdowns over the first four games – reasonable numbers! Then he went quiet for a couple of games, and then had a season- and nearly career-ending shoulder injury. St Louis have been desperately hunting for a number 1 receiver for what seems like ages. Tavon Austin is definitely not that, nor is Kenny Britt, Stedman Bailey, or Chris Givens. In fairness, Brian Quick probably isn’t, but he’s got the most ability and was sort of starting to translate that into actual achievement last season. I’m kind of rooting for him, and I don’t know why. Maybe the name.

What’s Definitely Not Good. There is far far too much mediocrity in this team. Nick Foles’ weird 2013 when he threw 27 TDs and 2 INTs looks so far from his season last season. The secondary is full of at-best-middling players like Janoris Jenkins. The wide receivers and tight ends are mostly anonymous, and it’s a “pick which one will lead the team with 53 receiving yards this week” situation. And their 1st round pick running back is only just starting to practice after tearing his ACL before the draft! If he’s not fit, never fear, we have more mediocre running backs waiting in the wings.

Anything Else: Those alternate kits are beautiful, by the way. Blue and yellow’s such a great combination. Elsewhere, this team is either moving to Los Angeles, or is going to be driven to further irrelevancy by an owner who doesn’t really care. That said, I can see the Rams winning 7 or 8 this year.

San Francisco 49ers

Last Year: 8-8

Which Way Are They Going: Down. No team is making a bigger leap backwards than the 49ers.

What’s Good: Navarro Bowman is back! He’s a very good linebacker! That’s good.

What’s Possibly Good But Might Not Be: We’ve all enjoyed rugby league crossover star Jarryd Hayn’e ridiculous punt and kick returns. He made the roster! He might even play some!

What’s Definitely Not Good: Everything else. First, Jim Harbaugh was forced out by the general manager. Harbaugh took a team that had not won more than 8 games in a season for 8 seasons, and got them 13-3, 11-4-1, 12-4 and 8-8 seasons. His replacement is a defensive line coach (not even a co-ordinator) with zero experience and no clue at how to talk to the media. This is a bad sign. Second, everybody on this team seems to have retired. Justin Smith retiring at the age of 35 isn’t surprising. Patrick Willis retiring at the age of 30 is a bit more surprising, but he had long-term injuries, so there you go. Chris Borland retiring after one season? Yikes. Anthony Davis retiring at the age of 25? Crikey. Thirdly, they kind of lost a bit in free agency. Both their starting cornerbacks left, most notably. They’ve moved 40 miles out of San Francisco. And it just all feels so catastrophic. Colin Kaepernick kept getting worse and worse last season, he hangs on to the ball so long of course he’s going to end up sacked lots.

Anything Else: There are actually a surprising number of good players still on this team. Joe Staley is an excellent left tackle, and with Daniel Kilgore and Alex Boone, there’s a lot of a fairly good offensive line there. Antoine Bethea is pretty good too. But it just feels like so much has gone from this team, from the exciting if unbearable head coach leaving to having the best linebacking corps in the league disappearing. The quality of this roster suggests a lot better, but the general aura surrounding the team only says 3 or 4 wins.